HBS Essay Advice: Frameworks, What to Avoid, and a Strong Example

It’s ‘go’ time! HBS has announced its 2022-2023 deadlines and confirmed its essay question, which remained unchanged again this year.  The HBS essay question might seem simple at first glance. However, applying effective tips and utilizing a robust framework is vital. Crafting a strong response requires understanding what the adcom seeks. A well-planned framework ensures your story resonates. The new 900-word limit makes integrating precise tips and frameworks essential.

Follow these tips. Use a tailored framework. You can then showcase your unique strengths. Candidates often feel lost without clear guidance. A strong framework can guide your narrative effectively. Combine proven tips with a solid framework. This approach will elevate your essay and improve your chances of success.

To help you navigate this challenging and important piece of writing, we’re sharing our best HBS essay advice – some frameworks and a structure you might leverage, what to avoid including in your essay, and finally a strong example from a past client.

What Does HBS Look For

As a starting place, it’s important to keep in mind the qualities HBS seeks in its MBAs. HBS looks for: 1) Habit of Leadership, 2) Analytical Aptitude and Appetite; 3) Engaged Community Citizenship. It wants strong leaders who will change the world. Nearly every successful candidate meets these criteria. Demonstrate all of them throughout your application. You need not include them all in the essays.

Ultimately, the HBS essay lets them get to know you beyond the nitty-gritty details elsewhere in your application. So get personal. Show who you are, what drives you, and what shaped you into the leader you are today. Center your essay on a thesis that crystallizes this insight about yourself.

We’ve seen applicants write about personal mantras from coaches, childhood experiences, cultural influences, or hobbies that sparked creative thinking. Your experiences don’t need to be massive. Not everyone starts a non-profit or aims to save the world. But they should matter deeply to you and your personal evolution. So settle in and get comfortable turning the microscope on yourself!

Frameworks to Consider

From our years of advising successful HBS applicants, we find frameworks helpful. They tie various elements of your profile together effectively. This approach provides some structure while leaving plenty of room for personal expression and creativity. To start, consider how your own story could fit into one of the following:

1) Life Theme: Has something from your life become a recurring theme? Show how it impacted you personally and professionally. It can be cultural heritage, family, traditions (large and small), etc. We’ve even had clients write about something as simple as a hobby like soccer or riding horses.

2) Defining Trait: Pick a trait that exemplifies who you are. One client wrote about getting comfortable not always being the best. He explained how overcoming his fear of failure led to his greatest achievements. And how overcoming his fear of failure led him to some of his greatest achievements.

This is probably the most common tack to take. GSB’s prior prompt asked, “What matters most to you, and why?” Some find this framework easier to work within. This approach could result in a similar essay for HBS and Stanford GSB.

3) A Passion: Pick something about which you’re really passionate. Maybe you have a strong passion that drives your goals? Past clients have written about diversity and inclusion or changing industries. However, it’s atypical to spend an HBS essay focused solely on work.

Structure Ideas

Once you’ve brainstormed possible theses and the underlying stories you could use to support them in your HBS essay, begin building an outline. Ultimately, you want an essay that adheres to the new word limit of 900 words and follows a structure somewhat like the below. In reality, your essay will be more like 8-9 paragraphs because your stories can take up multiple paragraphs.

P1: Intro (summarizes the main point and is unique/interesting enough to pull the reader in)

P2: Context / history of what you asserted about yourself in P1 (the ‘origins’ story, if you will)

P3: Example story from some point in life (can be any time really)

P4: Example story from another point in life (stories should demonstrate leadership as much as possible – these should be your most impressive stories of stepping up to the plate)

P5: Conclusion

What to Avoid

You should never write about “Why HBS” or really “Why MBA” in your HBS essay. HBS has never directly asked ‘why HBS.’ This is intentional. They are confident their program sets graduates up for success as leaders.
Word count spent on ‘why HBS’ takes away from talking about yourself. That’s a missed opportunity. You might integrate some “Why MBA” in the conclusion. However, try avoiding this initially and see how your essay flows.

In addition, be careful not to spend too much of your HBS essay focused on work.We strongly recommend that your overarching essay topic avoid anything professionally specific or undifferentiated. Skip the banking deal team story approach. If you include something like this, make it an example story somewhere in your essay, not the essay topic itself.

An Example of Success

Theory often proves hard to put into practice. Below is a sample HBS essay from one of our accepted clients. You can also find it here, along with some color commentary from our team.

“My upbringing taught me to be proudly self-reliant. My mother worked as a construction worker by day and a waitress by night. She worked relentlessly to keep us in a strong Massachusetts school system. And her busy work schedule forced me to take on a high level of responsibility from a young age. By the time I was 10, I knew how to make dinner for myself and my younger sister. If I wanted to get ice cream with my friends, I earned money by babysitting for my neighbors. I had to spend extra time on my homework as I often did not have a second set of eyes checking for mistakes. I built self-reliance and felt proud of it. However, these experiences also made me naively believe I could tackle any obstacle alone. I thought I needed no help from others to achieve my goals.

However, my perspective changed when I was diagnosed with type I diabetes at the age of 13. I was initially unaffected by my diagnosis. I insisted on doing my own insulin shots at the hospital as soon as the nurses allowed. Due to some unfortunate timing, I was forced to spend my third and final night at the hospital alone. During that quiet night my new reality finally sank in, and I started to question my ability to handle this challenge alone. Luckily, when I left the hospital, a fantastic team of nutritionists, nurses, and doctors taught me how to manage my condition.

But gradually, my appointments with this team became less frequent. As the only diabetic in my family, I felt isolated as I struggled with the daily ups and downs of diabetes. After years of staunch independence, I felt myself suddenly wanting a broader community for support.

I found this community initially on the softball field. I had been playing softball since the age of eight but the game took on new meaning after my diagnosis. Putting on my uniform and stepping onto the field, I bonded with a group of individuals focused on one goal: winning.  Out of this mindset grew unconditional friendships and when low blood sugar forced me out of a game, every player would check on me and cheer loudly when I went back on the field. In return, I put everything I had into our games; I even sport a permanent scar on my left leg from constantly sliding into bases.

During my 2008 college varsity season, Coach Tom asked us to write down our unique strengths. The day before playoffs, each player received a ball. It contained a written quote encapsulating their self-evaluation. I now keep this softball on my work desk. It reminds me of my mantra: “I may not be the biggest or the strongest, but I always give 100% of myself to the team”.

As a college varsity softball player, my team devotion was tested. An over-zealous slide into third base sidelined me for most of the season. I was initially devastated by this accident. For years I had gauged my contribution by statistical performance. Without this data, I felt insignificant.

Fortunately, I discovered renewed purpose mentoring one of our struggling freshmen, Rachel. I empathized with her frustrations and feelings of isolation. I recalled my own emotions from that third night in the hospital. Together we worked tirelessly to improve her fielding skills. I felt immensely proud when Rachel fielded several games successfully later that season.

This experience taught me that my impact as a leader mattered as much as my performance at bat or in the outfield. I’ve carried this lesson to my Boston co-ed league. I currently add value to my team of talented but inexperienced players every week. I strategize field positioning, direct base runners, and rally morale.

Each community I join receives the same collaborative enthusiasm from me. This includes the leading bank where I now work, my coed softball team, or my volunteer leadership committee. My softball experiences taught me the value of teamwork and leadership. These qualities have become core to my personality and vital to my professional success. By knowing how to work with and motivate large groups, I have led cross-sector research projects at a leading bank. These projects revealed unique investment insights. I took responsibility for establishing team objectives and ensuring everyone contributes. This led to great successes and promotions for both me and my teammates. Going forward, I believe these qualities will enable me to become an effective executive. I want to lead a company focused on improving care and quality of life for individuals like me living with diabetes. I want to help them find their own “teams” for support.”

We hope this helps get you started with the HBS essay! The ambiguity of the question makes it tough, but with self-reflection, vulnerability, and patience you can write a great essay and hopefully have a bit of fun with it along the way.

If you would like some personalized guidance, click here to request a free 30-minute consultation!